Valentine’s Day Guide to Keepin the Romance Alive after Kids.

Ok Momrades, I know what you’re thinking. You’re already tired AF from keeping the kids alive, now you have to keep the romance alive too? The ROMANCE?!? Well, fear not! Below is our 5 point guide to keeping the spark alive after kids, so take a break from taping 29 pieces of candy to 30 construction paper hearts (every.time.) and/ or googling flu symptoms and read on!

1)Spend lots of quality time apart. Look, you already have kids together. Chances are you have already gotten to know each other well enough-isn’t that what got you into this mess in the first place? What good can possibly come from more time together? Wanna go back to the days when your spouse was fascinating and endlessly attractive?

Avoid them at all costs.

2)Find a Show You Can Agree On: Last year, my husband and I embarked on a home renovation. It was expensive, time consuming, stressful, and required us to make character–revealing decisions together (backsplash) that threatened our marriage. Honestly, if we had been able to afford a divorce, we might have splurged on one. So what kept us together? HBO’s Big Little Lies. No matter what, we watched it together every Sunday night and it was ultimately my husband’s devotion to seeing Nicole Kidman get justice that kept us going. Find something you can sit down in silence to. Ahhhh romance.

3)When you guys actually DO go out on date night, have sex before the sitter comes over. Hand out the ipads and in less time than it takes mama llama to get baby llama to stfu and go to sleep, you can check Intimate Connection off your date night to-do list.

Why? No one wants to have sex after spending $200 on dinner and a sitter while you listen to each other complain about work/each other. When you get home, you will be too tired, too full, too broke, too drunk to go all the way. And even if by some miracle you are feeling each other when you walk in the door and turn the lights on in your toy-strewn wreckage of a home, there’s a good chance that you woke the kids up tripping over a lego and they’re in your bed waiting for you/crying/asking for a glass of water. So just go ahead and get it out of the way, I mean, fulfill each other physically and emotionally, before the sitter shows up and enjoy date night with zero expectations. Like marriage.

4)Don’t go to the movies. You’re gonna be asleep before your first popcorn refill and whatever movie it is, you can sleep through it for free at home in two months.

5)Lie. You look great in those glasses. I love the cookies your mom sent. Marrying you was the best day of my life. I don’t smell anything. You get the idea.

Ok! That about covers it. Follow these simple steps, and the romance should be spreading faster than daycare lice in December! Happy Valentine’s Day Mamas, we love you!!

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